No. 7 of the MaxLife Reflection Series · prints to one 8.5 × 11 page · 3-hole-punch ready
MAXLIFE
Reflection Series
7
No. of 75

Creating Safe Spaces: A Journey of Inner Work with Dennis McIntee

Companion to the MaxLife episode with Dennis McIntee

Dennis McIntee is a leadership coach who realized he'd never learned to process his own small losses. His whole practice runs on one habit: name the feeling so you can tame it.

▶ Watch the full episode with Dennis McIntee for deeper context on how to approach these questions
01

Open the bag

Over the last few months, what small letdowns, losses, or disappointments did you just 'rub some dirt on it' and walk past without ever really feeling? List the ones still in the bag.

02

Name it exactly

Pick one from the bag. People grab quick labels like 'I'm pissed' or 'I'm fine,' but is that really it, or is there a more exact feeling underneath? First name that feeling. Then write the one thing you'd ask for if you said it out loud.

AbandonedOverlookedEmbarrassedQuietly grievingScaredJust irritated, not furious
03

The voice in your head

Listen to how you talk to yourself when you mess up. Now imagine someone said those exact words to a person you love. Would you let it slide, or would you want to fight them? Write what your inner voice actually says.

04

Where it leaks out

A feeling you never say out loud doesn't disappear. It shows up as a sharp tone, a snarky text, or pulling back from a risk. Where has an unsaid feeling been leaking into how you treat people or what you'll attempt?

I keep telling myself it's fine, but honestly ___.
05

One person, no advice

Who is one person you could say this to who won't try to fix it, won't take it personally, and won't think less of you, just lets you get it out and feel heard? Write their name and how you'd ask them for that.

You started by emptying the bag of small losses, then you caught the voice in your own head and asked it what it really needed. That's the practice. Get it out, name it exactly, hand it to a safe person, and it stops running you from the shadows.
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