No. 33 of the MaxLife Reflection Series · prints to one 8.5 × 11 page · 3-hole-punch ready
MAXLIFE
Reflection Series
33
No. of 75

The Competitive Edge You’re Not Using: Honesty as a High-Performance Tool with Ken Bogard

Companion to the MaxLife episode with Ken Bogard

Ken Bogard, an openness and honesty expert, teaches that the rarest competitive edge is being willing to fully hear someone before you serve your own point.

▶ Watch the full episode with Ken Bogard for deeper context on how to approach these questions
01

When The Wall Goes Up

Tell the story of a recent conversation where you quit listening and started just waiting for your turn to talk. Who was it with, what was being said, and what happened in you right before you checked out?

02

Which Wall Is Yours

Walls have flavors. When you shut someone out, which one tends to slam down for you? Circle every one that fits.

Control wallFear wallEgo wallPreference wallI'm-right wallToo-tired-to-care wall
03

What You Stopped Hearing

When that wall was up, you were busy serving your own side. What did the other person actually want or feel that you completely missed because you weren't listening?

While my wall was up, what they really needed me to hear was ___.
04

The Cost Of Staying Closed

Picture the relationship where this wall shows up most. What has staying closed there actually cost you, in trust, in closeness, in how the two of you work together?

05

Make The Agreement

Ken's tool is to set the agreement out loud before a hard talk: 'I'm going to be honest about what I think, and I'm going to fully hear you out without firing back. Can we both do that?' For the one conversation you've been avoiding, what's the exact sentence you'll use to open it before Friday?

Ken's bet is simple: you can't change everyone's mind, but if you actually hear one more person out before you make them hear you, you'll understand them enough that the wall comes down on its own. So who's the one person you've stopped really hearing, and what would change if you listened first?
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