Why Discomfort is the Secret to Real Confidence with David Engel

Companion to the MaxLife episode with David Engel

David Engel built a 30-year career on a habit most people skip: he asks for the thing that feels too bold (money up front, the honest feedback, the bigger order) because not asking is already a no.

▶ Watch the full episode with David Engel for deeper context on how to approach these questions

The Ask You Swallow

What's something you genuinely want (a raise, an intro, a yes, a deal) that you keep not asking for because the asking feels too uncomfortable?

The No You Already Gave Yourself

David says if you don't ask, it's a guaranteed no. What story are you telling yourself about what'll happen if you ask and it goes badly?

I don't ask because I assume they'll ___.

Read The Discomfort

That nervous feeling usually points at something you actually care about. What does the ask you've been avoiding tell you matters to you?

Being taken seriouslyGetting paid my worthA relationship worth riskWork that fits meA bigger swingSomething I've hidden wanting

How Fast You Get Up

David says everyone falls. The real skill is how quickly you're back on your feet. Think of a recent stumble: how long did you stay down, and what would getting up faster have looked like?

Just Ask, This Week

Make the ask real. Who will you ask for the uncomfortable thing, and what exact words will you open with, before this Friday?

David tells his kids that on the hard ski runs you're going to fall. The only question is how fast you get up. Most of the no's in your life were never said by anyone but you, in the question you didn't ask. What would you go after if falling just meant getting up faster?

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