Why High Performers Still Struggle to Communicate Clearly

Companion to the MaxLife episode with Celinne Da Costa

Celinne Da Costa, a communication expert, teaches that your words are a readout of your inner world, and whatever's unprocessed inside leaks out in how you talk.

▶ Watch the full episode with Celinne Da Costa for deeper context on how to approach these questions

The Sentence That Leaked

Think of something you said recently that had extra tacked on: a dig, a qualifier, a 'well, because last time you...' What exactly did you say, and what do you think it gave away about how you were really feeling?

The Feeling Underneath

That kind of language usually sits on top of a feeling you haven't named. What's the emotion you've been quietly carrying (hurt, resentment, fear, needing to be seen) that keeps slipping into how you talk?

The thing I haven't fully dealt with is ___.

The Story You Speak From

Your words come from a story you've been telling yourself, sometimes for years. What's the story about you, or about the other person, that's been quietly powering the way you communicate in this situation?

Wound Or Scar

Celinne's line: don't speak from the wound, speak from the scar. Be honest, is this story still raw and unhealed, or have you actually made peace with it?

Still an open woundMostly raw, some peaceHealing but tenderAlmost a scarI've intellectualized it, not felt itGenuinely at peace

Feel It To The Bottom

Celinne's way to clear it: go back to the moment, find the stuck feeling, and let yourself feel it all the way to the bottom until your body says it's complete. Block ten quiet minutes this week to do exactly that with the feeling from prompt 02. When will you do it, and what's the first moment you'll go back to?

Here's Celinne's hard truth: you can't think your way into speaking cleaner. The jab and the qualifier keep showing up until you go back and actually feel the thing underneath them, all the way down, so your body finally files it as done. Look at prompt 05. Speak from the scar, not the open wound.

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