No. 3 of the MaxLife Reflection Series · prints to one 8.5 × 11 page · 3-hole-punch ready
MAXLIFE
Reflection Series
3
No. of 75

You Can’t Stay in the Shire: Pain, Purpose, and the Power of Decision with Kary Oberbrunner

Companion to the MaxLife episode with Kary Oberbrunner

Kary Oberbrunner, bestselling author, shares a line that stuck with him for life: you can't take the ring and stay in the Shire. Real decisions cost you something, and that's the whole point.

▶ Watch the full episode with Kary Oberbrunner for deeper context on how to approach these questions
01

The Decision You're Circling

There's probably one decision you already know you need to make but keep putting off. What is it, and how long have you been sitting on it?

02

What You'd Have To Bury

Kary says deciding means killing the other options, and that's grief. If you decided this today, what specific thing, an identity, a relationship, an income, an image, a backup dream, would you have to let go of for good?

The hardest thing to grieve would be ___.
03

Where The Power Leaks

Keeping your options open feels safe, but Kary says it just leaks your limited power into every maybe. Where is the energy you're pouring into 'I'll keep it open' actually showing up as exhaustion, resentment, or half-effort in your real life right now?

04

Chronic Pain Or Acute

Kary's frame: sitting on the decision is chronic pain, dull, low, always there. Deciding is acute pain, sharp but short and healthy. Which one are you living in now, and which are you actually willing to choose?

Stuck in chronic painTelling myself it's fineReady for the acute cutScared of the griefLeaking into every maybeDone waiting
05

One Cut That Proves It

Not a plan, a single concrete cut that says you've chosen and you're not coming back to the Shire, deleting the backup, having the conversation, closing the option for good. What's the one thing you'll do this week to make the decision real and irreversible?

Kary's point: the word decide shares a root with words like homicide, it means to cut off, to kill. You've been told to keep your options open, but open options just bleed your energy into maybes you'll never live. Look at what you wrote in prompt 05. You can't take the ring and stay in the Shire. What's the one cut that proves you've left it?
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