MaxLife Podcast · Episode

Why You Feel Spiritually Disconnected (And How to Reclaim It)

So many driven, capable people have everything together on the outside and feel hollow on the inside. Dr. Tom Garcia breaks down exactly why that gap exists and what it actually takes to close it.

With Dr. Tom Garcia1h 34mSpirituality · Ceremony · Inner Authority
The short version

Feeling spiritually disconnected usually isn't a crisis of faith, it's the result of handing your inner authority over to institutions, identities, and other people's definitions of who you are. Dr. Tom Garcia, a shamanic practitioner with nearly 20 years of ceremonial work, argues that the fix is a daily, personal, unmediated relationship with whatever you call the creative life force within you. That means sitting at a fire, journaling, praying in your own words, and being willing to excavate the stories you made up about yourself from things that happened to you. When you strengthen that vertical connection, the horizontal plane, your relationships, your work, your presence, stabilizes on its own. The medicine, the ceremony, the fire circle are all just tools; the reclamation itself is yours to do.

Key moments
What you'll take away

9 ideas from this conversation

01

You abdicated your inner authority

Tom calls it vacating the throne, handing your capacity to bless, heal, and connect directly to clergy, dogma, or institutions instead of claiming it yourself.

02

Direct experience beats filtered doctrine

"I wanted my own direct experience of God, creator, source energy coming through me. I did not want any interference." That daily practice, built over years, becomes unshakeable.

03

The vertical stabilizes the horizontal

A grounded connection to source settles everything else, relationships, decisions, presence. Without it, chaos fills the gap.

04

Separate what happened from who you are

The real question Tom asks every client: "What did you make up about yourself out of what happened?" The event and the identity are not the same thing.

05

Reclamation is the word

People don't come to Tom to find something new. They come to call back what's already theirs, innocence, sovereignty, connection, by birthright.

06

Nothing wrong with you is the starting point

Tom isn't diagnosing or fixing. "There's nothing wrong with you. You've made up all kinds of stories that have found validity, but the essential truth of who you are, there's nothing wrong with you."

07

Make a circle and put a fire in it

You don't need a shamanic land or plant medicine to start. A candle, a quiet corner, a simple prayer in your own words, that's the practice, and it compounds.

08

Love is the operating system

Tom's stated purpose: "To give and receive love, to recognize a call for love, and to forgive anything that appears unlike love, and to respond with more love." Fear, anger, and upset are all calls for love in disguise.

09

Authenticity is a magnet

Across every client Tom described, the consistent outcome was a deepening of authentic expression, more direct, more present, more willing to say what's true, and that quality draws people in.

Full show notes

Why You Feel Spiritually Disconnected (And How to Reclaim It)

What is a shaman healer and why does the label matter?

Ben opens by asking the question most listeners are already holding: what exactly is a shaman? Tom's answer cuts through the mystique. "For me it's more of a modern, the closest label to describe what I do," he says. A shaman healer, in the traditional sense, was a medicine person who worked with plants, animals, and the unseen. In Tom's modern practice, it means living close to the earth, hosting fire circles, guiding ceremony, and claiming the mantle of elderhood, not by age, but by deliberate choice. The label matters because it carries fear for some listeners and instant recognition for others. Tom doesn't brandish it. It's background context for a way of being, not a title he needs to defend.

Feeling spiritually disconnected: where it actually starts

The people who find their way to Tom's fire circle aren't broken. They're often high-functioning, outwardly successful, and quietly hollow. "Something's missing and they don't really quite know what," Tom says. He traces that hollowness to a single root: we relinquished our inner authority. We handed the capacity to bless, to heal, to connect directly, to clergy, to doctrine, to institutions, instead of claiming it for ourselves. "We abdicated the throne," is how he puts it. The word "sin," Ben notes, may trace back to "lost connection" in its oldest usage. That framing lands for Tom: the work is reconnection, not punishment.

What is the role of a shaman in modern ceremony?

Tom's role at the fire is attentive, focused, and relational. He opens a circle, acknowledges the four directions, offers prayer, and then creates a space where no topic is off limits. His job isn't to fix or diagnose. It's to see through the noise of someone's conditioned identity to who they actually are underneath it, and reflect that back with love and directness. "My job is to move some of that out of the way for people and then reflect back to them who I see." That includes calling people out when their programming is running, gently, but without flinching. The ceremony is the container. The conversation is the medicine.

How to reconnect with God without a middleman

Tom grew up Catholic, rejected it at 13, and spent decades searching. What shifted was simple and unglamorous: he started going to the woods alone before sunrise, kneeling, building a small fire, and waiting. No tradition telling him how. No authority validating the approach. Just showing up, day after day, until the connection became, in his words, "so grounded within me there's no shaking me loose." He's clear this isn't anti-religion. Some of his closest friends are ministers and fallen Catholics. "All faiths are welcome here if they come in peace." The vertical connection he describes, a direct, personal relationship with whatever you call the creative life force, is identical in function to what devout Christians mean when they say God is in the pilot seat. The difference is the absence of an intermediary.

Plant medicine as sacrament, not drug

Tom doesn't call psilocybin a drug. He calls it a sacrament, a sacred ally. He draws a deliberate line between the clinical, therapeutic model now emerging in regulated spaces and the ceremonial approach he practices. "There's nothing wrong with you" is the premise he brings to every session. That's incompatible with a diagnostic framework. He's worked with sober clients who were terrified of relapse and found the medicine non-addictive and profound. He's worked with corporate executives, authors, and entrepreneurs who came looking for a deeper experience of life and left with what he calls sovereignty, a full, unabashed ownership of their inner authority. The research from Johns Hopkins, UCLA, and the Royal College is catching up to what indigenous traditions have known for centuries: these compounds, used with intention and care, reliably deepen the sense of connection to something larger than the ego.

Daily practices for strengthening your vertical connection

Tom is emphatic that plant medicine and fire circles are tools, not requirements. For anyone listening who wants to start building that vertical connection today, he offers a short, practical list: make a circle and put a fire in it, even a candle in a quiet corner counts. Read something inspirational and sit with it quietly. Write a prayer in your own words and let it change over time. Journal not as narrative but as listening, open the page and ask, what do you have for me? Get outside, move, put your feet on the earth when you can. And treat self-care as non-negotiable: sleep, water, food, tended relationships. "If it's not practical, then it's too esoteric, too vague," Tom says. The insights from ceremony only matter if they get anchored into the everyday.

Quotable

Lines worth sitting with

I wanted my own direct experience of God, creator, source energy coming through me. I did not want any interference. I wanted my own direct experience without interference. And so I would go out alone and I kept doing that day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year until it's now so grounded within me. There's no shaking me loose.
Dr. Tom Garcia
We abdicated the throne. We vacated our responsibility. We relinquished our authority to bless and to heal and to bestow a blessing or a prayer to the clergy instead of claiming that for ourselves.
Dr. Tom Garcia
My purpose is to give and receive love, to recognize a call for love, and to forgive anything that appears unlike love, and to respond with more love.
Dr. Tom Garcia
What did you make up about yourself out of what happened? That's the real question. To be able to separate what happened from who you really are.
Dr. Tom Garcia
Free · No. 61 of the series

I want a direct connection, not someone else's filtered version of it
Reflection Worksheet

The episode is 1h 34m. This worksheet is fifteen minutes. The fifteen minutes is the part that changes anything: five questions from this exact conversation, pointed at your business and your life. Answer them on paper while the ideas are still fresh, and they become yours for good.

  • Who Holds Your Authority
  • What Actually Happened
  • What You Made Up About You
  • Grounded On Your Own
  • Make a Circle, Put a Fire
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The guest

Meet Dr. Tom Garcia

Dr. Tom Garcia on the MaxLife Podcast

Dr. Tom Garcia

Shamanic practitioner, ceremonial guide, and community elder

Tom Garcia has spent nearly 20 years developing a direct, unmediated relationship with spirit through fire ceremony, plant medicine, and intentional community living in Southwest Colorado. He works with entrepreneurs, couples, and individuals who feel something is missing despite outward success, helping them excavate the conditioned stories layered over who they really are. He claims the mantle of elderhood deliberately, showing up as a loving, truth-telling presence for the people he guides.

Questions, answered

Questions & answers

What is a shaman healer?
A shaman healer is traditionally a medicine person who works with plants, animals, and the unseen world to facilitate healing and connection within a community. In a modern context, like Tom Garcia's practice, it describes someone who holds ceremonial space, guides others through deep self-inquiry, and lives in close relationship with the earth and spirit. The role is less about a formal title and more about a way of being, attentive, connected, and willing to reflect truth back to the people they work with.
What is the role of a shaman?
The shaman's role is to act as a conduit between the everyday world and a deeper source of wisdom, healing, and connection. In practice, that means holding ceremony, asking hard questions, clearing the conditioned stories layered over a person's true identity, and reflecting back who they really are beneath the noise. Tom describes it as helping people reclaim their inner authority, the capacity to bless, heal, and connect that most people have handed to external institutions.
How do I reconnect with God when religion has failed me?
Tom's answer is to stop looking for a middleman and start building a direct, daily, personal relationship with whatever you call the creative life force. That means showing up consistently, a candle, a quiet space, a prayer in your own words, and doing it alone, without someone else's tradition telling you how. He spent years going to the woods before sunrise until the connection became unshakeable. The practice doesn't require any particular faith tradition; it requires showing up.
What does feeling spiritually disconnected actually mean?
Tom frames spiritual disconnection as the natural result of handing your inner authority to external sources, religion, culture, parental conditioning, social expectations. The people who come to him often have everything together on the outside and feel hollow inside, like something is missing but they can't name it. That gap is the distance between the conditioned identity and who they actually are underneath it. Reconnection means excavating back to that original self.
Can you have faith without religion?
Yes, and Tom is a direct example of it. He rejected Catholicism at 13 and spent decades building a faith that belongs entirely to him, no doctrine, no intermediary, no institution required. He's careful to say this isn't anti-religion; some of his closest friends are ministers and devout Christians. The vertical connection he describes functions identically to what religious people call a relationship with God. The difference is that it's unmediated and personally cultivated.
What is plant medicine and is it safe?
Plant medicine, in Tom's practice, refers primarily to psilocybin mushrooms used as a sacrament within a ceremonial context, not as a drug or a therapeutic intervention. He distinguishes his approach sharply from the clinical model: his premise is that there's nothing wrong with the people he works with, and the medicine is a tool for deepening connection and clearing conditioned identity, not treating a diagnosis. Research from Johns Hopkins and UCLA supports its safety and efficacy when used intentionally. Tom uses a detailed intake assessment and works only with people who are genuinely ready for deep self-inquiry.
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What does it actually mean to feel spiritually disconnected, and what does it take to reclaim that connection? Dr. Tom Garcia joined Ben Laws on the MaxLife podcast to answer exactly that. Tom is a shamanic practitioner with nearly 20 years of ceremonial work, and his take is refreshingly direct: most of us handed our inner authority to institutions, identities, and other people's definitions of who we are. The fix isn't a new belief system. It's a daily, personal, unmediated relationship with the creative life force within you. In this episode, Tom breaks down what a shaman healer actually does, how ceremony creates space for truth, why plant medicine is a sacrament not a drug, and the one question that changes everything: "What did you make up about yourself out of what happened?" Whether you're coming from a faith background or no background at all, this conversation will shift something. Listen here: https://maxlifecoach.com/episodes/why-you-feel-spiritually-disconnected-and-how, and follow @MaxLifeBenLaws for more.
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"I wanted my own direct experience of God, without interference." Dr. Tom Garcia on reclaiming your vertical connection, what a shaman healer really does, and the daily practices that make it real. Full episode at https://maxlifecoach.com/episodes/why-you-feel-spiritually-disconnected-and-how, @MaxLifeBenLaws
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Subject: That MaxLife episode on spiritual disconnection

Hey,

I thought of you when I listened to this one. Ben Laws sat down with Dr. Tom Garcia, a shamanic practitioner and ceremonial guide, to talk about why so many capable, driven people still feel hollow inside despite doing everything right.

Tom's framing is simple and kind of uncomfortable: most of us handed our inner authority to institutions and other people's definitions of who we are. The work is getting it back.

He covers what a shaman healer actually does, how ceremony builds a direct connection to God or source or whatever you call it, and the one question he asks every client that cuts through everything: "What did you make up about yourself out of what happened?"

No agenda, just thought it might land for you.

Full episode: https://maxlifecoach.com/episodes/why-you-feel-spiritually-disconnected-and-how
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